You've been told all about these resistance bands and how wonderful they are. Maybe a physio has thrown some at you, but why are they so great?

This months online program features the humble resistance band. A gym staple. A source of many fail videos. The ultimate test of trust between man, an assisted pull up, and his testicles.
Let me give you a crash course on the basics of the bands.
Tip #1 - Band types
The booty band

A lot of the bands you've seen around will be your traditional booty band
A thick fabric band somewhere around your knees, like this one pictured. Look how happy that model is, what a liar.
These do what they say on the tin and are for booty building/strengthening. They are the most comfortable for that purpose, often with non slip insides and woven so they don't roll into a tourniquet. They allow you the most comfort you'll ever experience while doing butt stuff. But that's really all they're for.
The thick, closed loop

Other closed loop bands are much longer and thicker, like the one used by this chap, taking his life into his hands with a bicep curl. Generally these are best for assisted pull ups or ab roll outs. The bulk makes them hard to shorten for other uses and they're usually too heavy for rehab work. They work best with exercises that require length and strength.
If you know what I mean... eh?
Which you don't, because otherwise you wouldn't be reading this.
That questionable length of rubber your physio lobbed at you.

Finally we have your standard, physio issue, strip of sad, thin, latex.
These are my favourite.
Look how happy they've made Kate Middleton here.
They are cheap, can do everything other bands do, and are way more versatile than the above types. They come in a wider range of more useable weights/resistances and are easy to transport. They do roll a bit when tied but... you're in a gym. You weren't comfortable anyway.
Booty band? Tie a knot in it.
Shoulder rehab? Use as is.
Need more resistance? Double it up.
Want to reserve a weight bench like a European tourist at a hotel pool? Lay it proudly on top and walk away.
Tip 2 - Resistance.
You sometimes see people do weird things with bands. It's a gym. People do weird things all the time. The key rule with using bands is... What direction are they pulling me in?
Once you figure that out, you'll be able to position them correctly to either make your job harder, or easier. Let's take that pull up for example.

The hardest part of the pull up is the pulling yourself... up. Which means force is being applied downwards. You know, gravity. (What a bitch.)
If a band were added under the knees and attached to the bar it would be most stretched and storing the most tension at the bottom of the movement meaning you have opposing force, and a cheeky hand from the old band.
Now imagine you're a glutton for punishment and you looped the band around your waist and tied it to a weight on the floor. The band is pulling you down and have to work much harder to get up to the bar.
Well done. You've made your job more difficult and are one step closer to surviving the zombie apocalypse.
Psycho.
Tip 3 - Time under tension.
Time under tension is often overlooked and awaits a whole new blog post of it's own but this paragraph is all you're getting for now. Essentially, the longer you hold the thing, the harder the thing is to hold.
Often when using bands, your goal is to stretch that thing out, then return to the start before repeating. The real work happens as you're creating the stretch but remember, as you return to neutral, you're getting some help form stored tension.
Not on my watch.
Controlling the return (concentric) is as important as controlling the initial pull (eccentric). In addition, take note of how much laxity you allow on the band between reps and for how long. 10 reps of a booty pulse will feel way different if you don't allow the band to slack at the end of each rep. Use this information to progress or regress. Some rehab exercises might benefit from this micro rest in order to keep your form strong. Be smurt.
What now?
Kmart.
The answer is always Kmart. You see these?
I've been a PT for 5 years and they're all I use.
Companies love to tell you to "invest in your health." I generally support this, but you really don't need to "invest" $45 in latex bands.
Be smart, go to Kmart.
Fuck I should be in marketing.
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